Writerly Things Update

It's July, and that means that a fresh batch of stuff from Birch Lane Kids. Check out a few of my favorite spreads from the newest catalog over at my portfolio (BLK now has its own dedicated section) and, if you're feeling young-at-heart, maybe shop for some adorable home decor.

Personally, I recommend:

Jungle Jumble Bedding Set: Deep in the heart of this jungle lives a posse of wild animals your child will love, all illustrated in a fun cartoon style. A dark blue abstract pattern on the reverse side allows for the option to completely change the look at a moment's notice.

Aim is True Bedding Set: This bedding set is a true bullseye when it comes to style. The comforter's abstract, arrow-inspired design pops in shades of cool aqua and warm goldenrod, and the reverse side features a coordinating pattern.

Hobbes Captain's Bed: A salute to those in need of some serious storage, the Hobbes Captain's Bed offers four drawers, two open cubbies, and plenty of underbed space that's easily accessible by a sliding footboard panel. Capped off by simple arched designs and spindle detailing, this bed is ready to take on clutter and look good at the same time. Aye aye, captain!

Pod Squad Curtains: A repeating pattern of whale silhouettes gives these curtains a cool, graphic look which incorporates pops of color into its neutral palette. Set of two.

USA! USA! Canvas: You can teach your kids about the 50 states by enduring a 224-hour road trip (plus flights to Alaska and Hawaii)…or you can use this map, printed on professionally wrapped canvas with fun, bright colors. Your sanity will thank you.

Stay Gold Cloud Wall Cubby: Your style forecast is cloudy with a chance of awesome when you add this cute wall cubby to your child's room. A black and white triangle print adds a graphic punch to the look, while the gold finish brings some metal to the mix.

Next up: I pitched in with the new DwellStudio catalog for Fall. Once it's been mailed, I'll have some pretty exciting stuff to share!

If I Can Do it, You Can: Refreshing Butcher Block

When I moved into my current apartment, I knew that one of the first things I needed to do was find a way to add more counter space and storage to the kitchen. If you don't recall, it used to look like this:

Don't worry, everything you need to know about is shown in the photo. That small strip of countertop where the sink is on the left? That's literally the only surface area in the entire room. Maybe satisfactory for two dudes who don't cook, but I knew it would be a problem for me. So I hunted down a coffee cart on Craigslist and a kitchen island at a garage sale, and those helped turn that depressing space into this:

That was about three years ago, and I LOVE that island. It's not really my style, but it's a total workhorse and there's no way I'd be able to feed myself without it. So, when I woke up to a forecast of crappy weather and absolutely nothing scheduled, I decided to refinish the top.

You know, as one randomly decides to do at 10:30 in the morning on a Saturday.

Some quick Googling confirmed that it's a fairly straightforward process involving my number one activity in the whole wide world: sanding! JOY. You can read the directions from a legit source here, but it basically boils down to: (1) sand with medium grit paper, (2) sand with fine grit paper, (3) sand with even finer grit paper (if you're fancy like me), and (4) wax on, wax off.

So I broke out the trusty power sander and got to work, not realizing until the dust began to fly that, maybe, I should have changed out of my pajamas first.

Eh, whatever.

Here's what the top used to look like:

Lotta rings and water marks going on there, from before I added a protective bottom to my vintage tobacco cans.

Once everything was sanded down and smooth, I wiped away the sawdust and started in with the Feed-N-Wax. Not only is it good for the butcher block, but it makes the wood look pretty and smells like oranges.

And when I was all done, the kitchen island was back to looking shiny and new! Or, at least, as new as it was when I bought it used from some family in Jamaica Plain. MAGIC.

Whoop whoop! So there you go. Adrienne thinks this is "fancy," but as you can see, if a sometimes-idiot like me can do it, pretty much anyone can. (As long as you own a power sander. Which pretty much everyone should anyway. Oh, the FUN that comes with it!)

It's a Good Thing I'm Pretty Immature

The time has come to finally reveal what I was not-so-subtly alluding to in my last writerly post. Despite what my brother's friends assumed, I am most certainly NOT pregnant (how would that be job-related, guys?). Nope, the big (little) news is that Birch Lane Kids has officially launched!

When this project was first announced, I was a little wary. I don't have kids. None of my friends have kids. I don't even really like most kids. But it turns out that I spent very little time writing as if I had kids, and plenty of time writing as if I was a kid. And that is something I'm quite good at, so the whole thing was actually a blast.

The assortment is pretty small at the moment, but we're rolling out another catalog in July (the April one is in homes now; you can see some of my copy from it here), so expect the selection to keep growing. In the meantime, I'll keep on thinking up pun-tastic product names (somehow I got away with naming a new rug "Moves Like Zigzagger") and trying my best to argue against a complete onslaught of pink.

Zen and the Therapy of Driving

I love to drive.

Well, that's not completely accurate. More like: I love to watch the scenery whiz by through the window. I love to sing along to the radio — loudly, badly, and unapologetically. I love how smoothly I can turn the wheel with one hand while simultaneously eating a slice of pizza with the other. I love that I'm better at parallel parking than 99% of my friends.

I love the moments when you can just cruise, not worrying about making an exit or a turn, because either you know the route like the back of your hand or you're still miles and miles from your destination. I love taking my sweet time in the summer, one arm hanging out the window, letting the warm air drift through and watching the sun just begin to set.

I love the freedom that comes with driving. And, more than anything else, I love the peace and clarity that often accompanies getting behind the wheel. 

I tried seeing three different therapists last year. 

That's something no one tells you about seeking professional help: how it's like dating (something I'm terrible at), but instead of sharing a few personal details and your likes and dislikes with a complete stranger, you have to spill your insecurities, fears, and worries so shameful that you don't even discuss them with your best friends. Oh, and then you have to fork over a $40 co-pay. Nice to meet you, too.

After striking out with the first two, I found myself in yet another tiny waiting room. This one had an abnormally loud door that would creak and slam no matter how gentle you tried to be, and the carpet was so thin that the walk from your chair to the therapist's office always sounded like a march to the gallows.

The woman was short, overweight, and walked with a kind of shuffling waddle. She kept a dog with her at work, something I was pretty excited about until I realized that it would be nothing more than a snoring, furry lump in the corner. She wore so much makeup that I often became entranced by her thick red lipstick and gunky black eyeliner; it was a puzzle, trying to figure out where her real features ended. Her office was dimly lit and dominated by an old couch that had an indentation in the middle so deep that no matter where I tried to sit, I always felt like I was slanting sideways about 45 degrees.

But her office was close to work, she could see me after 5 p.m., and she took my insurance. It was the Holy Trinity of requirements for psychological treatment.

Despite these much sought-after features, and my hopes that the dumpy facade was just the superficial window dressing of someone who would be truly caring, insightful, and helpful...she was a pretty shitty therapist.

Here's how it went: I would talk — and, let's face it, usually cry — and she would sit in her wingback chair, occasionally nodding until, inevitably, her eyelids would start to droop and flutter.

My mom conks out every time she's in the passenger seat during road trips, so I'm pretty familiar with what a losing battle with consciousness looks like. Add in the slow, heavy breathing and a slightly gaping mouth, and by the third real visit I was fairly certain: my therapist was falling asleep during our sessions.

Originally, I just wanted my car back because I was sick of being limited to areas accessible by public transportation, and I was tired of always having to bum a ride if I wanted to hang out at a friend's house. I missed the freedom and convenience that came with having a car, and ultimately, that overrode all of the hassles that come with it, too. So, after a year and a half of being without it, I drove my trusty Honda CRV back to Boston with me after Thanksgiving.

Make no mistake: my car is a piece of crap. But it's my beloved piece of crap. If you ignore the fact that it's almost 30% rust at this point, it's actually kind of adorable, and I have a hard time imagining anything being a better fit than that silly shade of blue and awkward, compact body (just like me!).

I had this car for my last two years of college, used it for the 7.5-hour trips between Michigan and Syracuse during holiday breaks, drove it across the country to live in New Mexico, and then drove it back across to live in Pennsylvania. I practically lived in this car for four months during my road trip around the United States, and I shuffled it from parking spot to parking spot for a full year here in Boston.

We've been through a lot. So when I'm in my car, I feel completely at home. At ease. Like myself. But it was during the 13-hour journey to Massachusetts that I remembered something else: how soothing driving itself can be. And how much I genuinely love it.

I broke up with my therapist — in a voicemail, left at her office after hours. (I've never claimed to be emotionally mature or good at confrontation. Hence, therapy.) I haven't tried to find another one, though that's not to say that I never will. But for now, instead of a one-hour session each week with a $40 co-pay, I take a drive whenever I need to and pay $65 a month for car insurance. It's been a pretty decent trade-off so far.

Some people do their best thinking in the shower. Some people find peace and purpose at church. Some people work through their issues in a therapist's office.

My car fulfills all three. And the driver's seat is so, so much more comfortable than that couch ever was.

Writerly Things Update

Just in case you're interested in that kind of thing, I finally added some clips of my latest work for Birch Lane. More to come once the Spring catalog drops in a few weeks! We've finally reached a point where the majority of the spreads we're using now were created after I started, so soon the copy (headlines and subcopy, at least) will be 100% me and it feels so good to finally have that level of control over the words that go into the book.

In other work-related news, something big (or should I say little?) is coming in April. Can't divulge too many details yet, but it involved me getting to make a lot of bad puns and I loved every minute of it.

Check it out. (Or don't.)

Cookie Swap Parties (or, How to Look Really Impressive While Doing Minimal Work)

Happy 2016, folks!

My end of the year flew by in a whirl of peer-pressured gift-giving, stressed packing and mailing, and blessed 60-degree days. I completely bypassed getting into the Christmas spirit this year — there's something about working in retail and frantically planning for Christmas in October that really burns you out by the time December actually rolls around.

BUT. I did manage to do one thing that was probably my favorite discovery of the season: I participated in a Cookie Swap Party. This isn't a new concept, but I'd never done one before, and in addition to just being a fun excuse to get together with friends and drink and watch Christmas movies, it's also great for another reason. 

My friends, what's more impressive than bringing in a single batch of cookies to your co-workers? Bringing in a batch of FOUR TYPES OF COOKIES. And only having made one of them!

Mind. Blown.

The good news is that none of the cookies we swapped were particularly Christmas-y, so you can still enjoy these recipes now in the dead of winter, a.k.a. this wondrous time period where nothing good happens and there's nothing exciting to look forward to except for — way, waaaaay off in the distance — spring.

Get baking.

COOKIE: Spiced Molasses with Orange Sugar 
NOTES: I've made these for a few years now, but I typically pass them out to people immediately, so it'd been a while since I sampled and really tasted them. Based on this year's batch, I'd recommend dialing up the black pepper and cloves just a tad. If spiciness isn't your thing, following the recipe as-is should produce enjoyable results.

COOKIE: Flourless Fudge (Show your gluten-free friends some love!)
NOTES: The recipes says that the espresso powder is optional, but I'd argue that it's completely necessary and really makes the cookie. 

COOKIE: Maple Nut
NOTES: This recipe came from an actual book. GASP. But they were so good that I'll share it with you here.

Ingredients:
1 cup lightly salted butter at room temperature
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons maple extract
2 cups unbleached flour, sifted
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 cups (8 ounces) coarsely chopped pecans or walnuts [My friend used pecans]

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. 
2. Cream soft butter and brown sugar.
3. Beat in egg, syrup, and extracts until light and fluffy.
4. Stir in by hand the sifted flour and baking powder.
5. Fold in the nuts.
6. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet.
7. Bake for 12 minutes.

Nick Offerman approves.

COOKIE: Toffee Chocolate Chip (I forgot to take an individual picture of these, but they're in the lower left corner above)
NOTES: Another printed recipe, this time from Cook's Illustrated. Leela notes that she melted the butter and browned it slightly before letting it cool and adding it to the other ingredients (fancy!); she also added 1/2 cup chopped Heath bars and 1 cup Choice chips; used a regular cookie scoop to divide the batter; and found that they only needed to bake for 12 minutes to get brown on the edges.

Ingredients:
2 and 1/8 cups bleached all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon table salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
12 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1-2 cups chocolate chips or chunks (semi or bittersweet)

1. Heat oven to 325 degrees. Adjust oven racks to upper- and lower-middle positions. Mix flour, salt, and baking soda together in medium bowl; set aside.
2. Either by hand or with electric mixer, mix butter and sugars until thoroughly blended. Mix in egg, yolk, and vanilla. Add dry ingredients; mix until just combined. Stir in chips.
3. [A complicated diagram followed about how to form the individual cookies. I say skip that nonsense and use a cookie scoop!]
4. Place cookies onto one of two parchment paper-lined 20-by-14-inch lipless cookie sheets, about nine dough balls per sheet. (Dough can be refrigerated for up to 2 days or frozen up to one month.)
5. Bake, reversing cookie sheets' positions halfway through baking, until cookies are light golden brown and outer edges start to harden yet centers are still soft and puffy, about 15 to 18 minutes (start checking at 13 minutes).

Doesn't that last one sound complicated? Again, the genius of the Cookie Swap is that I DIDN'T HAVE TO MAKE THOSE.

Another expert tip: Invite friends who are super-ambitious bakers.

Enjoy!

Thanks, World.

I am, generally, a cold and unfeeling person. I tend to save shows of emotion for a select group of situations, like my best friend's wedding, saying goodbye before college, or the end of Marley & Me. 

I know a lot of people celebrate Thanksgiving by going around the table and sharing what they're thankful for, but in the Lombardi household, we show that we care about each other with constant, unrelenting teasing, so such a sincere exhibit of love and gratitude would just be weird.

That being said, in a time where it seems like so much is wrong with the world, I actually think it's necessary to stop and take stock of all that is right every once in a while — plus, I complain a lot, so, short of magically halting all the negativity that comes spewing from my mouth on a regular basis, this seems like the best way to counteract that horrible habit of mine.

So, without further ado, I am thankful for:

1. A mom who owns a Pope bobblehead and loves me enough to make two gallons of spaghetti sauce for me to take home and hoard away in my freezer for the next six months.
2. A dad who will take me out to lunch on my birthday, thinks that I should run my own business, and always tells terrible dad jokes, even in front of my co-workers.
3. A brother who is one of the most sweet and generous people I know.
4. Another brother who has become someone I go to for advice and sharing jokes.
5. Grandparents who continue surprise and inspire me all the time.
6. Best friends who are there for me 24/7, whether I'm having a mini emergency or just feel the need to randomly quote Friday Night Lights without looking like a weirdo.
7. A job that challenges me and provides new opportunities for growth and learning.
8. A commute that's short and sweet...most of the time.
9. The existence of Wayne Gretzky Highway and the Canadians who decided to name it that.
10. Niagara Falls. (The Canadian side.)
11. The slow-but-very-real revitalization of Detroit.
12. High school friends who give a fuck.
13. Random people who, for some reason, wish me a happy birthday.
14. Hedgehogs eating birthday cake.
15. Pope bobbleheads.
16. Mulled cider.
17. Random acts of kindness.
18. Nerds.
19. Netflix.
20. Really good Italian food.
21. New friends.
22. Dogs. A thousand times: dogs.
23. Pine-scented candles.
24. Storytelling and imagination.
25. Generous return policies.
26. Free parking spots.
27. Long road trips.
28. 90s hip hop.
29. Rocks, trees, rivers, lakes, and all the beauty there is in nature, everywhere.
30. Ugly Christmas sweaters.
31. Acoustic covers.
32. Comic book heroes.
33. The freedom to be a smartass.
34. Cheeseburgers.
35. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of other things, which in itself is a blessing.

Summer Checklist: Accomplished

Oh, hi there. Been a while, I know, but I promise it's because I've been busy doing actual things and not because I've been re-watching every episode of Parks & Recreation (that part has only been just recently).

This summer coincided with some big changes, some terrifying revelations, and some venturing outside of my comfort zone (spoiler: I now own a maxi dress). In my attempt to cope with it all, I made it my mission to do as much as possible with my weekends so I could enjoy my summer to the fullest.

It may not have reached Summer of George-level epicness (Adrienne: it is very important to me that you learn this reference), but I think I did pretty good.
 

HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION
By Lisa Lombardi, age 28

1. Went to the Beach (a lot, actually). It seems like everyone in Boston and the New England area in general has their own opinion regarding which beach is the best — and there are plenty to choose from. North Shore, South Shore, Revere Beach. (Just kidding. No one thinks Revere Beach is the best.) Personally, I always head north to Manchester-by-the-Sea and camp out at Singing Beach. You can get there by car or via the Commuter Rail, it's a beautiful beach, and the town is pretty cute — perfect for walking around when you're done baking in the sun. Parking can be tough; your best bet is to shell out the $25 to park at the train station and walk to the beach. (Go with a group of friends to split the cost.) A daily beach pass is $5, but if you think you'll go multiple times during the summer, spring for a season pass. No, it's not free, but it's worth it. And coming from a cheapskate like me, that means something.
 

2. Saw an Outdoor Concert. Outside the Box is an annual six-day free festival that takes place on the Boston Common, and before this year, I'd never heard of it. Surprisingly, no one I talked to had heard of it, either — but everyone probably should, because it's a pretty sweet deal. In addition to showcasing local performers and putting on family-friendly shows with magicians and dancers, it draws some major acts. This year's big names included Kasey Musgraves, the Gin Blossoms (I KNOW), and, most importantly, Guster. Guster is a Boston-favorite because they started at Tufts, but they're a Lisa-favorite because they were essentially the soundtrack for drives to and from high school with my brother, Kevin. I've loved them ever since and they are AMAZING live. One word: bongos.

3. Got Dressed Up. In addition to seeing one of my good friends get married at the historic Whittemore-Robbins House in Arlington, I scored an impromptu invite to a July 4th wedding that took place at the Boston Tea Party Museum. The best part? I actually had some decent dresses already that were ready to wear. My fellow ladies will understand what a score this is. (Oh, also there was an amazing, patriotic drag queen performance. NBD.)
 

4. Spent Time with the Fam. Summer is the time when the whole clan on my mom's side gets together for a week in New Jersey at my grandparents' house. It typically involves up to six of us — myself, my brothers, and my cousins — camping out in one room on foam sleeping mats, and we spend the week eating, watching way too much pointless TV, and going to the Jersey Shore. Frank Bruni recently wrote a piece in the NY Times that sounded a lot like our annual trip and pretty perfectly summed up its worth.

5. Kayaked on the Charles. Despite its reputation for being pretty filthy and disgusting, I kind of love the Charles River. I've even swam in it. But up until recently, I'd never taken advantage of the rental services offered by Charles River Canoe & Kayak (they have SUPs now, too). The rate for a single kayak is $15 an hour, and you can explore a LOT of the river in that time. Afterward, maybe head to the Cambridge Brewing Company for a late brunch and rehydrate properly with delicious, delicious beer.
 

6. Had a little too much fun. Public Service Announcement: Deep Eddy's Lemon Vodka is dangerous. Also, trying a fish bowl for the first time in my life was probably enough to last me until my mid-life crisis. If anyone knows of good places to dance in Boston where the floor won't still be empty at 10 p.m., let me know, because I'm officially too old to get started any later than that. Remember, the best way to recover the day after is with plenty of water and the Parks & Recreation episode "The Fight."

7. Explored Massachusetts. My lack of car means that I don't really get out of the city much, and when I do, it's because I'm leaving the state. Thanks to Leela, I spent a weekend in the Berkshires region, which essentially boils down to the Massachusetts equivalent of a Michigander's Up North: it's where a bunch of people have vacation homes and a lot of the area is in the middle of nowhere with tons of forests and lakes around. It was beautiful; we ate some great food, explored local attractions, and I scored some choice finds at the local yard sales. Word on the street is that I need to go back in the fall for some quality leaf peeping, though I remain skeptical that New England autumns are really prettier than ours in the Midwest.

8. Returned to my roots. I typically head back to Michigan maaaaaybe twice a year, sometimes for Thanksgiving and always at Christmas — which is sad, because the best time to be in Michigan is definitely the summer. So, this year I made it a priority to get there, and it worked out that I got to see the whole family while I was there. The trip included a jaunt up north to see where my brother Kevin now lives and, because my dad flew us there in his tiny Cessna four-seater, four hours of me desperately trying to focus on my book and squeaking every time we hit some turbulence. Family time!

9. FINALLY went to Brimfield. For the less decor-obsessed than I, allow me to explain: the Brimfield Flea is a massive market of antiques that takes place three times a year in Brimfield, Massachusetts. It's like, the holy grail of flea markets — bloggers, professional interior designers, and editors from shelter mags all flock to it every year, and I've wanted to go since before I even lived in the state. And last Saturday, I DID. It was unbelievably overwhelming and more massive than I ever could have imagined, but it was also really, really fun. No major finds to share with you, because it's really not my scene for shopping (too many options, no time to really think over a decision, prices higher than I'm used to for impulse-buying), but it was so cool just to wander and see all the different things, including: one giant, furry rabbit costume (head only); way too many baby doll/robot hybrids; a full-size covered wagon. Yay, Brimfield!

Reliving My Model Days

This is my absolute favorite picture of myself.

This Lisa is silly, snarky, adorable, and unbelievably confident. She doesn't worry about wrinkles or zits or fitting into that new pair of jeans. She doesn't brush her hair — more importantly, she doesn't do anything to her hair. And good luck to anyone who tries to come near her with a comb.

She wears butterflies without a hint of irony.

She is my hero.

If it were up to me, this would be the headshot used for my driver's license, work profile, and online dating account. Alas, we live in a world of national security, professionalism, and creepers, so I'm stuck relying on contemporary photos of myself. Lame.

Confession: Despite a short-lived career as a Little Tikes model*, I hate getting my picture taken. I curse the inventors who integrated cameras into our phones and made it that much easier for relatives and friends to take crappy, red-eyed snapshots of me looking my worst. Yep, I'm that stereotypical girl who's overly critical of her appearance — it's terrible, I know, but it's also a really hard habit to break.

So I thought maybe a good first step would be to get some legitimately decent photos taken. I work on my confidence and get some acceptable headshots at the same time? Win-win. Ample preparation, carefully planned conditions, and — most importantly — a professional photographer seemed like a recipe for photo success, so I not-so-subtly reached out to my old co-worker Leela Briggs and shamelessly offered my services as a model if she ever wanted to add some more portraits to her portfolio.

Never underestimate the power of a thinly veiled request.

Together, with the help of our friends Molly (photographer's assistant extraordinaire) and Jamie (stylist and fashion expert), we somehow cobbled together an afternoon photo shoot at the Arnold Arboretum — followed by food and copious amounts of wine as a reward to myself for enduring several hours of awkward posing.

Leela's a total professional, so she came armed with a rolling arsenal of gear and tools. We started by testing the color settings. (That's probably a lie. I have no idea what purpose the color card served. Someone told me to hold it, so I did.)

People riding their bikes and walking through the Arboretum were pretty curious about what was going on until they realized that I was just a random girl and not Barbara Streisand or Sarah Jessica Parker (the only two celebrities I've ever been compared to — it took a while for me to grow into my nose).

I may have had a hard time taking things seriously at first.

My default reaction to getting my picture taken is to make silly face. That way, if I look weird, at least it's on purpose.

Luckily, Leela waited me out.

A few tips if you're nervous about getting your picture taken:

• Wear an outfit you're comfortable in (I was wishing for my jeans and flannel shirt by the end of this)
• Don't smile all the time (give your face a break!)
• Accept the fact that it's going to feel awkward at the beginning, and that it might take a while to get some good shots
• Choose a location that you love or that relates to your personality and interests
• Despite popular belief, a cloudy day is perfect for taking photos outside (skip those overly bright, sunny days)
• If there's anything you're self-conscious about, let your photographer know — they can work magic
• Have FUN (any time I started to feel a little wooden, I'd just start dancing. It made for some amazing gifs later on!)

Of course, despite all of Leela's hard work, my favorite shot from that day is this one:

Yeah. Some things never change.

*Oh, what's that? You thought I was lying? BAM: